Oh so lonely!

Hey,
I must say I am a weird one. When I want to be alone and away from everyone, I don’t have the chance to do that, and when I am alone, I want to be around people.
 
When I am alone, I do like to take thing easy and relax, as I know I am on my own and there is no one around talking to me. I enjoy listening to the silence and letting my mind wander to where ever it wants to. My mind likes to think about random things that I don’t think it even crosses many people’s mind.
 
I usually have some chores that I have to get done because I have avoided them too long that it’s going to get out of hand now. I prefer getting through them in peace and quiet. Not sure if it’s because I have been around people for too long and I want to be in some peace and quiet. Or if it’s because my mind will pick up on the music in the background and start wandering off and I’ll get distracted and end up going off track.
 
Whatever it is, I am happy to give my ears a bit of a rest for a few hours at least. Sometimes, the silence allows me to think more about things, especially when I am writing content, I need to focus on the topic and stay focused. I need to write based on my topic and not wander off into a different world, as my writing ends up being all this waffling which has nothing to do with the original topic.
 
Even now as I am writing this, it is taking so much concentration to stay on topic. Right, back to talking about being alone.
 
When I have the time to myself, I do plan to do my writing as that it is the best time to get my head down and work on it. When I am at working or travelling to work, I come up with some good ideas to write about but by the time I get round to actually writing, the energy and the motivation have completely gone.
 
My job does tire me, especially as I am working on computers from 9 to 6. The last thing I want to do is go back onto a pc and look at a screen.
 
To answer a part of the original question, (see I’m trailing off again), I do enjoy my company as I spend a lot of time with other people and I do struggle to spend some quality time with myself doing what I want to do for a change. I can watch what I want to watch on TV without anyone else saying “I don’t want to watch this or that”. Sometimes I want to lie on my bed or sofa and think out a loud and clear my mind if I going through a tough situation which I struggle to do with people around as I like to keep a lot of my thoughts to myself whilst I actually try to understand what is happening and what I want to do about it. A lot of the thoughts disappear after I have had a long think about it as it is usually my mind thinking ahead and thinking of many scenarios and sometimes even overthinking things when the situation isn’t that bad to start with.
 
But there have been times when I am alone and I have not wanted to alone. I haven’t wanted to speak to anyone about what I am going through or what I am thinking but I have wanted to have the presence of someone around to not feel lonely. It feels good but other times the person wants to talk to me but I don’t want to make conversation.
 
I haven’t had alone time for a long time now and that I need it soon so I can spend some time on my writing and get some more posts out there as I have so many topics that I want to write about but I haven’t had the time.
What do you do when alone?
Do you feel lonely or enjoy your company?
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