Failure

Failure, we all face failure at some point in our lives. Some face it more than others but there is nothing to be ashamed about. Failure doesn’t mean it is the end of something as you can always pick it all up and try again. Sometimes you can fail in one way but succeed in a different way so, in the end, you have succeeded. One way may have worked out for one person, it does not mean that it has to work out the same way for you. We are different so the way you succeed can be different from someone else, there is no certain way you can succeed.

There are a few areas in my life where have failed. When I was going through it and I did fail, I felt like this is the end and there is no way to make it better. At the time, it feels like everything is over I will never get anywhere. But that is not the case. One area I had failed in was one of my exams during my first year of university. I had passed the other modules with a good grade, but there was one that I found very difficult and the results showed that I had not passed my exam. At the time I got the result, I was away from the country on holiday with my family so the timing was not great. I got very concerned thinking about what I was going to do.

What could I actually do about it? I needed to pass the module to move ahead to the next year. I didn’t have the best internet connection on holiday but I decided to have a look and see what I can do. I had 2 options, I could retake the exam one more time before the second year, or I could retake the whole module in my second year with my other modules.

I decided to go with the option of retaking my exam before the second year had started. After I was back from my holiday, I spent hours each day working through all the lectures that had been taught throughout the year. We had been provided past papers which I started using to help me get familiar with the style of questions that I could be presented with. The module was something to do with database management, where we had to write SQL statements. I always found coding quite difficult and writing it on paper made it even difficult as you need to remember the correct syntax. One syntax error and you can lose marks for the whole question.

Finally, the time came for me to take the exam again. I travelled back to my university and took the test. I felt like I had given it my best shot, so now I had to wait and see what the result was. After about a month of waiting, I got my result. I had passed the module and I was able to move ahead to the second year of my education.

The lesson, I learnt here was that I needed to try again especially as I was being given the option to try it. If I did not pass it the second time, I would have had to retake the whole module which would add a lot more pressure as it would have been extra lectures and work. But it was still possible to do and would have been the best thing to do. The other thing that I could have done is stopped my education there because I had failed one module. That would have been a failure, but there may have been a different route I would have taken to get to where I am today.

Another time I failed was with my driving test. I needed to plan for my future thus I need to pass my driving to drive to work and public transport may not be suitable. I was taking lessons whilst I was at university as I used to come home most weekends, so I booked my driving lessons to fit around it. They only took about a 1 hour to 2 hours per day each weekend so it was fine. I took many lessons and then my instructor told me to go ahead and book my test as she felt I was ready to take the test. Also, the tests have to be booked in advance as they are always booked.

I managed to book a date which was not too far away from the present date and I started preparing well for it during each of my lessons. When I had my last before my test, I felt fine and I felt confident in myself and I can do it. I need to do what I have learnt in my lessons and follow the instructions that I am given.

The test started fine, I was doing fine and I felt the same. As we started to progress to the busier roads and the larger roads, I started to get nervous and I started to make mistakes that I have never made in my lesson. I tried to correct them as quickly as possible, but it was not enough.

After the test had finished, I found out that I had failed the test due to one of the errors being quite bad. I felt very very upset that day. I went home and cried my eyes out. My parents told me that I can try again and I will pass but I felt like a failure as I had hoped that I would have passed and I wouldn’t need to take the test again. I didn’t do anything about it for a good few weeks. I didn’t want to take more lessons and I didn’t want to take the test again.

Some time passed and I managed to find a different instructor. As I already knew how to drive, he told me to book the test and we would be doing refresher lessons to prepare. When my test date arrived, I felt very nervous as I started to think about the previous test that I had failed. I tried to take it out of my head but it was quite difficult at the start. My instructor had taken me on many test routes that examiners use to test the drivers.

Luckily the test route that was chosen for me was one that I had practised with my instructor the day before. The route was a calm road which didn’t have too much traffic after the rush hour had passed. The drive was lovely, the examiner told me to stay calm and drive like I was taking a friend for a nice relaxing drive.

When we got back to the test centre, I was given my result. I had made a few small errors which they do not count towards failure but I had no serious errors. I had passed my test. I was so so happy, I couldn’t believe that I had done it. I had passed my driving test and I could drive my car. The lesson I learnt here was that I did fail the first time around, I did take more time to get back up again. I must have waited a couple of months before I got back behind the wheel. I got back to it once I had moved on from the failure and I felt I was ready to give it another go.

If I did give up after my first attempt, things would have been very different in my life. Who knows if I would have managed to complete my education, who knows if I would even have the job. I may have made it to the interview the one time with a taxi or a lift but I wouldn’t be able to use it every single day.

The paths I took above may be different from what someone else would have taken. For example, they may have taken their driving test again as soon as they failed the first time, or they may have taken the test at another point in their life. What matters is that they are doing something about it, and not thinking that this is the end of it all. Something can always be done in a situation. Sometimes the solutions may feel difficult or they may be out of your comfort zone. You need to take your time and have a think, there will be something which will help you out of the problem.

2 Comments

  1. Beautiful writeup Veena. Every step in life is a testing ground. Some active and perceptive people never stop blossoming regardless of what experience they encounter while other people seem to wilt with the slightest provocation. Glad you always turned around the tide 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s